Trisha's 31 Nights of Fright

my fifth book "Trisha's 31 Nights of Fright" comes out Sept 5, 2014

here is the official press description:

Looking for a good fright? Trisha Paytas was when she agreed to let horror film writer Jeff Rendell introduce her to the genre. Together they explored the best—and worst—horror movies have to offer, from classics of fright like Carrie to the inspired lunacy of the otherwise terrible Leprechaun in the Hood.

Whip up some popcorn, lower the lights, and join Paytas and Rendell as they share thirty-one of their favorite scream flicks with you for every day in October, the scariest of months. Let the haunting soundtrack of The Exorcist send shivers up your spine. Spend a night under siege at the Winchester Pub in the hilarious Shaun of the Dead, and giggle at the over-the-top, campy dialogue of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (a chainsaw massacre in which no one—no one—gets killed with a chainsaw).

Each movie review includes an in-depth critique, explanations of the film's merits (or lack thereof), and cast lists (Matthew McConaughey starred in that?). Determine a movie's appropriateness for your mood by its Fright Factor, Gore Level, and Body Count rankings. By turns fun, campy, and informative, Trisha's 31 Nights of Fright is a wonderful introduction to new horror fans, and an informative resource for fans of the maniacs, ghosts, and monsters everywhere.

because I'm happy

happy Sunday my lovely lil angels from God.

I love you all. if no one has told you today that they love you, I'm telling you right now, I LOVE YOU. I love you because you made it to this earth by the grace of God, you are still on this earth and you are going to do amazing things in God's own image and make Him proud. I'm proud of you for making it this far in your life and by simply being in this world, YOU are making it a better place...

now let's talk happiness

today I had an epiphany. I'm happy

well actually I had this epiphany about a week ago when I was in the hospital

I was in the hospital getting all sorts of tests done and no one really telling me what was happening. when you're laying in the hospital, hooked up to an IV, heart rate monitors, and you're freezing, your mind starts to wander.

the first thought was, PLEASE let this nothing be serious. I do NOT want to die. and why don't I want to die? because I am so happy in this life

my life is so far from perfect. anyone who has followed this blog, my youtube channel, my journey, knows I'm in a constant battle with myself

I battle my weight

I battle in my relationships

I battle with mental struggles

I battle with career choices

I battle with life decisions in general

but none of that is a factor on my own happiness. and it's not on you. we all have struggles, struggles do not define you or your well being...how you handle struggles do.

you can get up every morning and allow your struggles to hold you down and keep you in bed or you can choose to be happy and overcome all these obstacles

some battles you'll be fighting the rest of your life but if you are truly happy and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, those battles will merely be a speed bump in this journey of life

I'm happy because I'm healthy

I'm happy because my family is always there for me and makes time for me

I'm happy because I have a job that doesn't feel like work at all

I'm happy because I have an amazing amount of support from people I've never met

I'm happy because I make a difference in people's lives by being myself

I'm happy because I have a roof over my head

I'm happy because I have legs that work to be able to walk

I'm happy because my faith in God strengthens everyday

I'm happy because I have friends who truly love me for me

I'm happy because my family is all still on this earth with me

I'm happy to be able to reach so many people

I'm happy because I get to entertain

I could go on and on and on of why I'm happy!!!!!!!!!! but I think you can see my point. there are 50000000 things to be happy about for every 1 struggle you face. focus on the happy and not the sad.

the happy is a choice that YOU CAN CONTROL

you may not be able to control life's struggles but you can control your happiness

choose to be happy today

choose to be happy every morning you wake up

and spread that happy :)))

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU KNOW!!!! and other people out there in this world love you too or are waiting to love you

don't give up! keep going. and "be the change you want to see in the world" ;) 

peace and love my lil angels

xo

Trish

what to do when you're in love with the wrong one?

forgive me in advance for this blog being all over the place....

it's really just a stream of consciousness as of right now

for 1) I can't stop thinking about this boy. I'm in love with a guy who is so CLEARLY and UTTERLY WRONG for me yet I can't stop thinking about him and wishing I could see him. what is wrong with me? he's no good for me and we will never end up together, yet I'm like so infatuated that the thought of cutting him out of my life is even MORE painful then all the torture my heart has already felt through the slow breaking over the course of the past 16 months

I don't love easily....in fact, I don't even like easily. so when I like someone, I like HARD. why is this? especially since this guy is not a God, he's kind of just an average guy on the surface yet I look at him like a King that I should just serve no matter how many times I get spat on.

is this weird?? 

I know you may think it's slutty or that I'm sticking around for sex. but I can (and have) gotten sex with people who actually are interested in LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP with me, yet I push them away. guys with jobs, or great status, or endless amount of love poetry sent to my email each morning, I reject.....WHY?!??!?!? SERIOUSLY.what is wrong with me?

I LOVE ME

I KNOW HOW WORTHY I AM OF A GREAT LIFE

am I just unworthy of a great relationship?

sometimes I think my past as a hooker, where I unintentionally could have been ruining relationships ...is this my punishment???? will I have bad relationship karma forever????

God has forgiven me but has the world? has society? has men?

am I forever just a piece of trash in the eyes of men?

2) I'm hungry. I've been on a diet these past couple days and I'm starving. why do we women go through such torturous things such as depriving ourselves of chocolate and food. I went to the movies today and smelled popcorn and CRIED because I couldn't/shouldn't have any. but for what!!?!? WHY AM I DOING THIS?!?!?!?!? why can't I just have a splurge like everyone else???

cause I'm not like everyone else.

I need things in EXCESS. if I get popcorn, I'll need a soda and candy to sweeten the ending. 

if I like a guy, I'll want to have sex with him over and over and over again until he says no more.

if I shop at a mall and see something I like, I can not NOT buy it. I NEED IT

I was addicted to drugs. 

I've abused alcohol

Prescription pills were a major problem growing up

Am I completely mental at this point?

do you ever feel like you're not even a human being???

do you ever feel like you're not living your own life but merely observing it from the outside??????

my head is spinning, these past couple weeks have been literally the most intense weeks of my life. life changing events have occurred

what do you do when you're so confused?

what do I want in this life? to LOVE and be LOVED.

so right now, I'm just lost...lost in my head

on the outside, my life is seemingly together, in the inside, I want to scream!

but alas, I shall pray.

will you pray for me as well? I will put you in my prayers along with any special requests

GOD IS GOOD

I need to remind myself of this constantly

who has advice???

I'm so willing to listen.

"let he who is without sin cast the first stone"

please be kind. do not judge. but help one another <3

xo

Trish

UPDATE!!!!!!!!! :::::::::: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THE WRONG ONE???? LISTEN TO YOUR HEART.

be happy in the now. 

I was in love with the wrong one before and I stayed in it for years because it made me happy. I knew we would not be together in the long run but I didn't care because I had so much fun with him, so much passion, animal attraction that couldn't be kept apart by all the force in the world. one day he didn't give me a rush anymore. sooner or later, he won't make you happy anymore. those butterflies will disappear. that's when you know you can move on and still live your life with no love regrets

I'm in love once again with Mr. Wrong but Mr. Wrong is all I think about and all I want. I go out with other guys and this Mr. Wrong is the only person I'm thinking of. Mr. Wrong's texts make me giddy, make me excited. I push myself to be amazing to prove I am worthy of Mr. Wrong. Mr. Wrong could fizzle but as of now, I just love him. it seems I'm Mrs. Wrong for everyone I have met, so who knows? this could be a match made in Wrongville :) sometimes being wrong is right.....

that's life.

i had a date tonight with someone I know through a mutual friend. yet, I choose to stay at home because there's no sparks.

life is too short to waste love on anything less than passionate, amazing, can't wait to touch, won't resist chemistry





"It's not very easy, living all alone, my friends try and tell me, find a man of my own
But each time I try, I just break down and cry
Cause I'd rather be home feeling blue..."

$200 FOREVER 21 GIVEAWAY

2 WINNERS WILL RECEIVE $100 GIFT CARDS TO FOREVER 21

HOW TO ENTER::::

2 EASY STEPS :))))

1.) sign up for a free EBATES account

2.) leave a comment on RAFFLECOPTER telling me why you want to win

must be 18 or over

contest ends June 16, 2014

winners will be announced on this blog post on that date. check back soon! and good luck

TRISH

WIN A $100 SEPHORA GIFT CARD

to win!

sign up for EBATES and leave a comment below telling me what you would buy with a $100 Sephora Giftcard!!!!

it's that easy!

SAVE MONEY ON DESIGNER BRANDS LIKE COACH, TED BAKER, AND MORE!!!

I purchased all these designer brand items through EBATES and saved $17.84 on luxury buys

Nordstrom is where I purchased these Ted Baker pumps. Nordstrom is now double cash back through EBATES - save 6% on your entire order.

price I paid: $200

cash back I received: $12

Coach is where I purchased these items. Coach is now also double cash back (4%) when you shop through EBATES

order total: $146

cash back: $5.84

shopping through EBATES is easy. when you go to EBATES - you sign up for a free account

when you make your first purchase through ebates HERE you get a $10 gift card to the stores offered that you choose (I chose target)

search for ANY store online via their search app. FYI - sephora is also DOUBLE CASH BACK TODAAAAAY  (8%) soooooo get on that ;)

HAPPY MONDAY!!!

life is short, buy the shoes xo

What I bought at ULTA today!

TODAY ON EBATES - ULTA IS DOUBLE CASH BACK - THAT'S 8% CASH BACK ON YOUR ENTIRE ULTA ONLINE PURCHASE!!!

this is what I bought :))))

********if u sign up for ebates through my link, you get a $10 gift card to a place of your choice after your first purchase*********

bye bye redness cream from IT cosmetics

why: to even out my skin tone 

shop through ebates to take advantage of double cashback

bye bye under eye concealer from IT cosmetics

why: I'm obsessed with concealing my dark circles and brightening, duh!

shop through ebates and type in ulta under stores

bare minerals glow gift set

why: because I'm obsessed with gift sets and new to the bare minerals line

shop ebates to get 8% cash back on this and all ulta items today

revenge makeup palette by NYX

why: because the women of revenge are too fierce not to own this

shop ulta via ebates for double cash back

HOPE YOU ENJOY MY PICKS!!!!!!!!

what are you getting off ulta today????

WIN HARRY STYLES 1D SOCKS

these are ONE SIZE fits all :)))

leave a comment on this blog to win!

and don't forget to "like" today's video to be fully entered!

GOOD LUCK xo

I thought I was Over Him...but I'm not

"so take a good look at my face. you'll see my smile looks out of place. if you look closer it's easy to trace, the tracks of my tears..."

wow. I thought I was "over him" but I'm not.

with each day, it does not get easier but worse. the heartache I'm feeling now that all my friends have gone home and I'm alone in bed is so intense it feels like it will never cease.

I try to convince myself he's not worth it. why am I spending so much of my FUCKING time thinking about a guy who doesn't give one single fuck about me to at least explain why he disappeared into thin air.

I was even starting to give him the benefit of the doubt. MAYBE something intense did happen to him or his family that he could not get to his devices or was not checking them due to more important personal issues. I was trying to give him outs to explain his behavior.

then I checked his twitter. he followed another person :( his twitter count went up and I was crushed

well, I was relieved he was alive.

but crushed because he really is just avoiding ME.

what did I do? a year of a relationship with each other and he just disappears? no explanation. I just want to know why. if it's nothing I did, I want to know. if it's something I did, I want to know. I need closure and peace of mind. how cruel can one person be?

I'm so confused and lost

one week he loved me, the next he falls off the face of the earth, blocks me from his phone...and apparently his life.

I am crying, wincing, and shaking from this agony.

NEVER love someone who cannot or will not love you back. do NOT, under any circumstances develop feelings for someone who does not return the same feelings, IT WILL DESTROY YOU MENTALLY.

tomorrow is Sunday, I pray for peace to get through this night as I know tomorrow the Lord will replenish my soul and reset my mind for a positive and healthy week ahead of me.

baby steps.

but for now, I sulk.

I can't help it.

this is not fair. 

What I Bought at Sephora Today!

clarisonic mia hollywood lights collection limited edition in pink

***my first clarisonic purchase ever - see how it goes***

retail price: $150.00

when you shop sephora through EBATES you'll get 8% cash back today

savings: $12.00

Sephora Collection Moonshadow Baked Palette - in the tropics

***colors look pigmented, amazing packaging***

retail price: $27.00

when you shop through EBATES get 8% cash back

savings: $2.16

Laura Mercier Enlightenment Eye and Cheek Palette

***limited edition and the colors are super unique, especially the blushes***

retail price: $55.00

shop through EBATES for cash back

savings: $4.40

St. Tropez Self Tan Luxe Dry Oil

***natural fragrance, 10 day long lasting formula, non greasy***

retail price: $50.00

8% cash back via EBATES

savings: $4.00

Reflections

do you ever wake up some mornings and just reflect on your life? I have these alot and there not always pleasant. Sometimes it's from bad dreams I've had of the past or uneasy dreams in general. But this morning I woke up from an uncomfortable dream and felt the opposite...felt relief.

I felt relieved that I was in my bed in California by myself. No torturous memories of my time in the midwest with people I didn't feel loved me. No boyfriend sleeping next to me fearful of if he was going to love me that day or be cruel to me. It was so nice to be alone in my bed in my safe place, my own apartment.

For so long, I shared places of living with people who didn't care about me. Who wanted to see me fail. I don't know what love is. It's a sad truth but I don't. I don't know the right way to love someone because everytime I've felt "love" it really was a superficial false feeling and not something genuine.

I'll tell you what I want love to be. I want love like the kind Jesus had for me when He died on the cross so that I could have eternal happiness in Heaven with our Father. I saw "Son of God" over the weekend and bawled my eyes out because Jesus loves me. 

This whole time, I thought no one has loved me but He has.

Now I just pray that I can hold on to this feeling of true love and seek it and give it the way it's suppose to be. God willing of course.

I don't need fake love from a man, or pretend love from family, I need true love. My Savior has loved me and now I want to love others the same way.

My heart is so pure right now. My body is healthy. And my being is thankful.

I live a blessed life, I know this. There is not a day goes by though that I don't THANK GOD for it all. It is all His doing. He gave me a second chance at life the way he gave the adultress a second chance when she was to be stoned.

When you think you've lost all hope in the world. When you think things will never get better. HAVE FAITH. When Jesus asked Peter to come towards him in the middle of the stormy seas, Peter was able to stand firm and walk on water until he lost his faith in which he fell under. DO NOT LOSE FAITH!!!!!! NEVER LOSE FAITH. if my testimony is not proof enough that God is forgiving, God is loving, and God will give you a miracle when you least expect it remember this...

JOHN 20: 29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

PRAY.

it's also important to remember we all have our crosses to bare as Jesus carried His own cross to His own crucifixion. suffering is a part of life which will get us to heaven. we must take our sufferings but never forget to lose our faith.

pray when things are tough. but also pray when things are great.

this morning, I was brought to tears on how I was in my own bed, in my own apartment, alone and free of judgement and worry. I had survived. I am alive.

I promise you, 4 years ago...I did not think I'd be on this earth. I didn't even want to be.

Thank you God for keeping me here and pulling me through.

My life is SO beautiful and wonderful now that I cry to think of the thought of NOT being here one day. I just want to keep living this life. with the people who care about me, who I care about. I want to keep living this life. doing what I love and helping others to love themselves and love their lives.

I LOVE YOU.

if you're reading this. I genuinely love you and want the best for you. I want you to reflect today. yes, maybe your mind will go to the bad parts of life and that's okay because you can reflect on how much better you are in the NOW. if you reflect to a better time, just think about how this suffering you're going through is going to lead you to an even greater life than even you could ever imagine.

I reflect on my life and I am so grateful. no matter what tomorrow holds, I am grateful in the now for what I have accomplished, for what I have survived, and what I will do. Mostly I'm grateful that God so loved me that He gave His only son to the world. He did it for you too.

YOU ARE LOVED.

I AM LOVED.

JESUS LOVES YOU AND IS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

just pray.

have faith.

xo

Trish

GIVEAWAYYYYYYY TIIIIIIME!!!!!

if u watched today's video....u know what to do ;) ;)

GOOD LUCK LIL FISHHEADS!!!

xo

Trish

Sneak Peek of my Third Book "Tease"

my new book "Tease" will be out Feb 1. here's a little bit more info on what it's about ;) 

::::::::::::

Best-selling author Trisha Paytas is back with Tease, a dark glimpse into a world where power is a turn on and every pleasure comes with consequences.

Mary attends college while working some shifts at the local diner in order to help pay for tuition. It’s there that she meets Preston, a mysterious man who awakens desires within her that had never before been. But trouble begins almost immediately as Mary discovers that Preston’s desires often mix sex and violence to a terrifying degree.

As Mary explores her own titillating urges, she discovers that perhaps she and Preston are not all that different. Wielding her sexuality as a source of power, Mary stumbles across a variety of men and relationships that feed her own desires: From falsely accusing her roommate’s boyfriend of rape and countless affairs with married men to passion-fueled murder and getting locked in an underground hellhole.

Mary’s fear of Preston is compounded when he forces her into sexual servitude, yet she still can’t fully decide if she hates the violence or loves it. With her sanity teetering on the edge, Mary’s life continues spiraling out of control. Will she ever break free from the cycle of lust and power? Or will Mary go crazy in the process?

An erotically charged look at the perversion of sexual norms, Tease explores the types of sexual fantasies that rarely see the light of day. Its shocking scenes and vivid characters will stay with readers long after the last page is turned.

Trisha Paytas is a former Los Angeles stripper whose YouTube series inspired her memoir The History of My Insanity, as well as her autobiographical The Stripper Diaries. She hopes these books reveal the unglamorous, and often dangerous, aspects of the sex industry. Paytas currently lives in Los Angeles, California.

a different kind of Barbie

"I always wanted to be Malibu Barbie...but God didn't quite create me that way so I turned into my own kind of barbie, my favorite kind... a lil Trish Doll" -me

so I was going through my candids of a photo shoot I had last week for the cover of my next book and I was looking at all the untouched random iphone photos and wanted to post some but I thought, "mmm, my arm looks huge and my legs look pudgy, my butt is too wide and not enough of a bubble, people are gonna say I have cankles, my bra is showing, wish I knew how to photoshopp my personal pics, etc etc etc"

then I relooked at em this morning and I saw so much beauty in these pictures. I saw a girl who was having fun living out her dream of not only accomplishing a finished third novel but getting to be the cover model for it in her backyard in a Southern California beach city which is literally the sand at my doorstep. I saw this girl who yeah, had a little bit of fat on her but that fat meant she could now afford to eat on her own when in the past she had to either starve or rely on men to get her food. I looked at this picture and saw legs that weren't skinny but strong, these legs have walked me out, nay, ran me out of some dangerous situations. and mostly I saw a smile that showed how happy I truly am in life right now regardless of what people think of my size, my fashion, my hair, my life, my choices....I had a legitimate genuine smile and some of these poses, I don't think alot of girls would be able to do because they don't believe they are sexy. this is the pose of a girl who KNOWS she is sexy and its taken me 25 years to be fully aware of my SEXY and fully able to flaunt it with no apologies and no photoshopp!!!

I just wanted to share this because I know alot of us curvy girls struggle with "should we lose weight? should we not?" - at the end of the day, its your decision and its whatever makes you happy. do you wanna feel better? do you wanna look better? do you think losing weight will help with that? THEN DO IT. but don't forget to look at yourself right now and appreciate all that has gone into that body you have today...the stress you had to endure, the heartache you've experienced, the happiness you've celebrated....the body you're in today has quite the story. so while you may want to create a new beginning or not, never forget or be ashamed of the story in which you've already written :) 

xo 

Trish