happy sunday little fishiies!!!
so I felt compelled to write this blog today because of a recent photo I posted on instagram (the above photo) I posted this on my personal instagram cause I felt pretty, I liked my dress, I've been happy with my body, and I wanted to share what I thought to be just a cute lil outfit before going out for the night.....
oh boy! was I sadly mistaken.
it turned into a crusade. it really broke my heart. girls tearing other girls down in the comments of this one lil photo. skinny girls calling me fat and then calling the girls defending me "whales" "obese cunts" and "thunder thighs" and then the thicker girls retorting with remarks calling those girls names such as "anorexic" "sickly" "skeleton" "boy bodies" and "flat chests"
KEY WORD in all of this that BROKE MY HEART: GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why are girls doing this to each other???
I know as a female who has dealt with body issues her whole life, I for one, was always most insecure because I was worried that BOYS wouldn't like me. that I'd grow up and MEN would be the ones chastising me if I wasn't thin enough, pretty enough, etc.
in my 7 years as an adult, I never ONCE had a guy comment on my weight. and I've gone out with ALOT of guys and ALOT of them were jerks but not one has ever said, "you're not thin enough, trish" or "you shouldn't wear dresses like that"........ALL THAT has come from females. girls who have to deal with the same insecurities society sets upon us.
now I'm a 25 year old woman who takes ALOT of pictures of herself, implying that I'm somewhat of a narcissist, implying I'm in love with myself and in love with how I look. so I find these comments aimed at me to be humorous many of the times. people calling me unattractive or disgusting is something I can laugh at now knowing that my looks is what gave me a career as a model
photo courtesy of pipedreamproducts.com
but its truly heartwrenching when these derogatory names are being thrown at innocent young girls who just want to post their own personal "i feel pretty" pictures when they are going out, only to be torn down by insecure people.
if I had instagram or any social media when I was in high school, I don't think I would've made it through. between 13-19, those are years girls will always feel a little uncomfortable about their physical appearance in someway. things are changing, bodies are forming, girls are talking, and magazines are flaunting.
here's the thing...
PEOPLE ARE MEAN. but mean people don't get far in life. they are spending all their time and energy trying to bring you down so they feel better about themselves. the best revenge is not name calling back but by moving forward and reaching your goals. eventually they'll see their words cannot hurt you and will not stop you.
you'll be succeeding while they are just miserable.
people hate on you because there is something in you that they wish they had. for me, I think people can't stand the fact that I'm so confident. that I literally just don't give a single fuck what anyone thinks about me....and those who can't find their own confidence, have to try and tear mine down (good luck trying to bring down the confidence of a narcissist) and I think we all should be a little narcissistic, as this world is cruel and people will try and tear you down for the rest of your life...."try" being the operative word.
maybe you're a super giving person, maybe you were blessed to have a wonderful family, maybe you are exceptionally attractive, maybe you were given opportunities others haven't....whatever the case is, you have something, they wish they did, and that is where the hate comes in.
my advice for the haters! you can change!!! you can change your situation!!!!
step 1) CUT THAT NEGATIVE SHIT OUT. calling someone ugly doesn't make you any prettier
step 2) instead of writing mean comments, write positive affirmations about yourself
step 3) don't criticize other people's goals, create your own
step 4) worrying about someone else's life, gives you no time to create a wonderful life yourself!
LETS SPREAD LOVE, NOT HATE!!!
you can change the world by changing yourself. by making yourself a better person, you'll be making this whole world a better place.
and for all my curvy girls out there (I can only speak to you as I have never been anything other than curvy)
LOVE THAT BODY!!!!!!! if you walk around, owning every luscious lump and bodacious bumps, you'll attract all the right kind of attention! the word "fat" was created by people who wish they could have some extra junk in the trunk or a soft "s" shape when they walk.
us curvy girls can strut! us curvy girls provide warmth. and us curvy girls can cook. and us curvy girls really know how to fill out something as basic as a white wife beater tank ;)
and again, this is no "anti skinny" its just what I know. my sister is naturally thin and she owns that. she owns the fact that she can sprint up our stairs and owns the fact that her thighs don't touch (I've always been envious of that) but I learned to love my sultry wiggle up the stairs and my thighs forming a cushioned heater for potential suitors hands ;) lol
physical beauty is awesome. we all want to feel attractive! however the most important thing I have always preached, is inner beauty. if you're not a good person, if you're soul is not happy, nobody is going to want to be around you! that's just the truth.
so focus on inner and once you KNOW all you have to offer to your friends, family, significant other, and the world, thats the secret to confidence. and confidence is the key to outer beauty! SHHHHH! don't tell anyone.