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Monday, November 25, 2013

accidental broken heart


so I woke up this morning with puffy under circles from crying my eyeballs out last night. and the thing is, if you would've asked me what this guy was to me, I would've said just a friend...I don't know how I got this emotionally attached.

I met this guy online back in March of this year. he was literally my DREAM man as far as looks, personality, charm, demeanor, overall human being was concern. now we were NEVER serious. I could've told you that then, during, and even now but somehow I still found myself falling in love with this guy who didn't REALLY care about me. I'm sure he liked being around me to a certain extent but we weren't like "lets meet the family" dating if you know what I mean.

so whatever, maybe we were friends with benefits, but I've had this kind of relationship with many a men and when it was over, it was over. or if I wasn't happy in it, I'd leave or him vice versa.

with this one, it was different....

let me preface this a little by saying I did know of this man before he knew of me, if that makes sense. so I had a little bit of that schoolgirl crush prior to him knowing me or my existence. but again, I've lived in LA for 7 years and this has never fogged my mind the way it had these past 9 months.

he was very sweet and kind and overly attentive at the beginning. sweet messages all throughout the day and night, every text with I miss you and thinking of you. and that didn't end after we had sex, he was still that attentive throughout...heck! I even went to a foreign county just to be with him while he worked. so one would think, surely he wouldn't invite me on a trip if he didn't have actual feelings for me and missing me, right?

well, fast forward to last night, when a friend of mine was looking his picture up online and came across him, his daughter, and another woman photographed at this event back late October (when we are still seeing each other). I had recognized the woman from a photograph I had seen of them last year, so clearly this was someone he was serious about...yet never thought to mention this?

here's the thing...."friends with benefits" you assume the other person does see other people and you accept that cause you're benefiting each other regardless. HOWEVER, this girl was not just another random chick he was seeing, it is quite obvious she's a SERIOUS girlfriend.

furthermore, this guy knew how much I liked him....in fact, I LOVED him. call me crazy, I know! I have no idea why I fell in love with this guy. I think I loved the IDEA of him so much, that my heart just tricked itself into thinking it was full on love.

he knew that I always wanted more, needed more, craved more, begged for me....and he would promise, he'd be able to once a) b) or c) would pan out for him. promising situations would change and things would change for...US.

he's an actor just like my ex boyfriend was....maybe they are just REALLY good at their jobs and can carry it into real life situations? its so tough to understand. 

I will never understand why guys lie, why guys cheat, why its so hard for men to be truthful to people they are dating? I will never understand how men can just play with girls' hearts and emotions and for what...for sex???? is all that worth it? all that lying, sneaking, time investing....for sex?????

I know alot of you may say I bring this unto myself with the way I act and present myself, that this is the kind of man and attention I attract....but I don't buy that. I think that's an excuse men make up in their minds to make themselves feel better and the excuse other girls use to dry and bring me down or deter me from being myself.

REGARDLESS....

we've been up and down many times in our "relationship" whatever that is or was. but this was the final straw. when I saw that picture, it literally felt like the air was knocked out of me, my heart fell out of my stomach. and I knew then that I was in this thing too far and too deep and my happiness was relying to much on this man and his empty promises and hopeless texts. I was in love with him and he wasn't with me.....something I knew deep down but didn't want to believe was true or hoped I could change.

the thing is NOW I'm left with a broken heart. I tried my hardest to think like a man, and be happy with what we had, disconnecting emotions and feelings, straying from too emotional of subjects to share with him....but it just didn't work out for me.

I've been through three shattered hearts with my ex boyfriend of 5 years until I had to call it quits because I literally felt like I could DIE of a broken heart the final time....and you know, I've had my heart played with a few times from this guy that have felt similar. but this BROKEN HEART is never gonna heal if I keep putting it into unsafe hands.

this sucks. I literally have no energy to eat, I couldn't sleep one hour last night. 

I always pictured myself as Miss Independent, Miss Need-No-Man but then why do I feel like this? 

Obviously, the world is not ending and my life isn't over. but its so hard to let go of something that made you SO SO SO happy.

#life

"in the words of a broken heart, its just emotion taking me over..."

40 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. He was not worth it and if you feel bad can you imagine how the other gal will feel when she finds out? Cause eventually he will and hopefully she will leave his cheating a$$! You are a good person with a loving heart and I am so confident that you will find Mr. Right when your not looking for him. As for being involved with this jerk, you and his girlfriend were played!

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    2. Trish,
      Don't ever give up on love, it makes the world your in go round and round. F^&&* him, and he doesn't deserve YOU or the other women in his life. He will eventually end up alone. You can't play that game forever. KARMA is a bitch, and what comes around goes around. Just sit back and watch with a smile. Your young and fun, and beautiful with a giving heart, and if he can't see that ..than someone else will. You will meet him. (the love of your life) or one of them. I have lots of loves in my lifetime. I can't say who was my true real love, because Ive been hurt so badly, but loved so dearly. So I would risk love at anytime to find out if he is the one. Let it come to you naturally. Be patient...Focus on YOURSELF, and letting your heart heal. Focus on your future so no matter what you will always be independent, and will never need a man for money. I'm trying to teach my ONLY daughter this. Cry your eyes out. Get the hell up, and go make some yummy tea or coffee, and maybe write down your feelings so you get them out. And scream your ass off into a pillow, and then look up and smile, and say I'm truly blessed. Tears will make me stronger. Its how I deal with this after wards that will say a lot about me. Trust me I was in your shoes for many years. Im 42 yrs old, and can relate to your story more than you know. We have been through some of the same things. We obviously know men, and why they do the things they do, and what makes them tick, and tock. So tick tock his ass right our of your pretty mind. Your self~worth is everything. xoxo

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    3. Hey Trish, I dont know if you will get this or not. I relate to you and your feelings very much.
      I wish I could talk privately with you but Im not that savy with the internet.
      I can see you have a huge heart and all you really want is a man who loves you inside and out. A man who would be true and faithful for life.
      Its hard isnt it?
      Yet you strive forward and look at all that you have achieved! I personally am very impressed. I wish I could do the same. I wish I had your smarts. I hope that one day very soon you will have that man of your dreams in your life to stay forever. Maybe send a wish out there into the universe, for me too, that the man of my dreams comes to me, stays, and loves me truely for life.

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  2. dear trisha. dont shed your tears or lose sleep over him, if he would do any of this to you he is most definitely not worth it in any way shape or form. please contact me in any of the ways ive given you, sometimes it helps to hear a caring voice, to know someone out there truly does care. i wish i was there, to dry those tears, hold you, make you some mac and cheese and just help you get through this.

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  3. trisha ya a strong great woman i luv my trishx fix on youtube ya know wot guys like that dunt deserve ur luv n friendship fook um u av a lovely family sum great friends n us ya fans dunt let idiots like that pull ya heart strings they aint worth it i just wanna say i luv ya 2 bits ya like me lil online sis just carry on wiv wot ya do n 1 day mr right will walk in2 ya life luv n hugs ♥

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  4. Feel better sweet Trisha. I know what you're going thru. My first TWO marriages ended because the guys cheated & lied. I thought I would never find anyone. .. never be happy. But I finally did. And even tho I still struggle with trust issues he understands and has stood with me thru so much. So dont give up. He's out there! And never let anyone talk you into not being 100% unapologetically you!

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  5. Keep your head up girl!!! you will find the right guy, it takes time...I'm 31 and finally found a great guy last year. If I can find someone SO CAN YOU!!!

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  6. Stay strong love! Have faith in God that he will deliver someone WORTHY of you <3
    :/ honestly LA is just so full of fake people, its hard when you live there...
    move down south and find a nice country man to take care of you :D

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  7. Try that roller coaster during 4 years... It's seriously fucked up.

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  8. I understand. At 35 and single. I will never give up on true, LOVE. Keep your *head up*-*

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  9. Hey Trish , sorry to hear about your situation. Guys can be BIG JERKS.You should have a "date night" " eat expensive chocolate , and drink expensive wine while reading 'why do men love, bitches' by sherry argov.

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  10. I believe we are given the same tests over and over until we finally get the lesson. As a girl 10 years older than you, I can safely say "been there and done that." I've been the girl crying my eyes out due to empty promises. I've been the girl watching every episode of Sex and the City while eating an entire container of ice cream, and yelling at all the A-holes the characters dated. I also became the girl who gave a nice guy a chance. 8 years later, we are married with two little boys. The point I am trying to make is that-you need to take what you can from this experience. Why does this same situation keep happening? Do whatever ritual you usually do to attempt to get over the huge D-bag. Tomorrow resolve to make the most of your life. You have not met the man for you yet-he is out there. Trust me when I say the nice guys marry you. The A-holes screw you. One day this will make sense to you, and you will give your advice to a heartbroken girl. Please do not sell yourself short. You deserve better, but if you keep going back-this will keep happening. He will NEVER change. Trust me!!! Don't let a man break your spirit, sister! Take care sweet girl.

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  11. I think God has something in store for you and he testing how much you can take you have to have Faith in you self and in God I think the right man will come along you are beautiful.

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  12. Hey Miss Trish,
    I came across your Twitter/YouTube a few months ago and ever since then, I've been hooked! Anyways, there isn't anything anyone can really say to remedy this situation for you. I can sort of relate to you via certain aspects of your story, I re-connected w/ an old crush from High School in my hometown and he lives in the state next door to me, so our relationship blossomed only through Facebook, text, and over the phone. In any case, I came to find out that like your guy, he was skirting around with his ex, whom he has a child with. I feel for you and the heartache that you've been dealt, it's such a shame that grown "men" act like such immature boys with absolutely no regard for another person's feelings; other than their own. I wondered why the guy I was involved w/ even bothered the long distance relationship with me for over 1 year...and then POOF! After I had confronted him about his ex etc. and rumors I was being told by mutual friends, he was gone! No reason(s) as to why, no apologies, no nothing! Totally ignored me and I haven't talked to him since in any way, shape, or form. To this day, I have no clue why that happened at all, and if he was interested in another female...why mess w/ me and my emotions at all?
    Anyways! I suppose some things are better left unsaid and it's the fact that when you're thrown into a situation like this, you really have to be the bigger person and learn to accept it for what it is, as well as accept the guy for who he TRULY is deep down. While the hurt penetrates your heart deeper than anyone else can imagine, the only way you'll ever move on, is if you take the time to be honest with yourself about the entire 'relationship.' That's what I did afterward, sure...I cried...A LOT, but crying gets the sad out! While it will take time and everyone heals at their own pace from heartaches, but just remember you were just fine before you even knew he existed and came into your life! Keep that in mind please, it's important...very important. So, the fact that he's no longer in your life at this time, consider that a blessing in disguise. Perhaps he came into your life to "teach" you something and maybe that "something" is that while it's okay to really like another person, love is blind and it can take over your mind. Just try to be a little more aware and level headed with the situation and the next person you're dealing with, to best of your abilities. I do hope you feel better and he's a coward for not being honest with you, before and after all that has happened. So, cry all your sad out if you need to and just be honest with yourself about that guy/relationship you two had...eventually, he'll be nothing more than a "who?" You also don't have time to be worrying about guys like that, you're a busy woman with plenty of people who want your time and to see your beautiful face each day. Plus, you get paid for being you and looking fabulous! <3 <3 Chin Up Girly! :-)

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  13. If people think you deserve to be treated this way based on how you present yourself then they need to get down the yellow brick road to get a heart and a brain!!
    You have no idea who I am and I barely know anything about you (in the grand scheme of things!) yet my emotional reaction to this post is the same as it would be if this had happened to a close friend. In short, this man is a total and utter C**T. Not only has he used you and betrayed you, he's done the same to his girlfriend and has betrayed his child (I'm assuming the girlfriend is not the mother)
    I don't care about the FWB tag attached to this, at some point both he and you knew it was no longer applicable. The difference is when you both realised that, you wanted it to continue further whereas he took advantage of your feelings, having no intention of doing the decent thing.
    He's not worth your tears but my advice is cry. Cry as much as you can, as often as you can because eventually, you'll realise in a few weeks that you didn't cry as much as you did the previous week. And then one day, you won't cry at all. And that means he no longer matters.
    You're a beautiful lady Miss Paytas. If you were an animal, you'd be a bounding playful puppy, if you were weather, you'd be a glorious California blue sky. If you were a dude, you'd be Dolph Ziggler!!
    It sucks right now, but you've been through this shit before and survived, you'll do it again.

    Stay Gorgeous, Gorgeous!!

    Xxx

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  14. Okay... I will probably make all the women here's head's explode but sometimes the truth must be said! As an older man that has been around the block a time or two, married for over 35 years to the same woman and has 6 kids with that same woman, I think I can help you out here! First of all, sex is way more important to a man than any woman could ever understand, we think about it constantly and it is both genetics and testosterone that drive men's desires for women, young men more so than older men. Feelings have very little to do with any relationship in a man’s mind at first in a relationship until she reveals her true qualities and personality. 99% of women have two personalities, the one they want you to see and the one they really are, we know this as men. If a woman that a man is aroused by reveals herself honestly, slowly and is not plastic or fake and possesses the right qualities, Only then will a man open the door a little more and deepen the relationship, If she doesn't have the right qualities, he will only keep her around for sex, fun and a good time but the relationship will go no deeper than that and he will NEVER tell her so. Don't get me wrong, I like you, I don't want to judge you, you’re sweet to a fault and damn sexy but if you are after a long term relationship with a good honest man, you got some changes to make! The way you dress and your personality screams dumb sensuousness blond that would be hard for ANY mans hormones of ANY age to resist and a man will say or do whatever he has to get what he's after from you. This is what women don't get about a man, we are driven by this overwhelming desire to have sex and the feelings part has very little to do with it AT FIRST! You are a sweet honest girl and I don't know what kind of man you would be happy with but If you really want to find a man who truly loves you for YOU who will cherish you and want to be with you always.. you’re never going to keep a man by doing it the way you have been! The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result! So... What does a man want in a woman? Here they are... (see next post)

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  15. A man wants a friend and a partner not a sex pistol that he needs to worry about every man hitting on her when he's away
    A man wants to be loved but not strangled.
    A man wants to know that he is the man and he will take care of his woman to his last breath if she is loyal and respects him.
    A man does not show emotion easy it is a sign of weakness that he cannot stand but in private he will shower you with love and emotions if you can live by his rules.
    A man is never hurried along in a relationship especially if he thinks that he does not see the REAL you yet! It WILL take time and any hint of pressure to commit or move the relationship along will have the opposite effect.
    A man wants an intelligent woman who has common sense that he can count on to be a good nest builder and frugal with his and her hard earned money, a long term thinker and life builder.
    A man will pick a quiet woman over one that talks too much; it is like fingers on a chalkboard to a man.
    A man is a logical creature not an emotional one, we think more than we say. Less is more in this case. Women are fast thinkers and have the ability to think about many things at once and can come to right conclusions most of the time way before a man can, we know this but do not need it rubbed into our egos. It turns us off!
    A man does care about your feelings but has a hard time with women that are too emotional and cry at the drop of a hat.
    A man has a basic need to FIX everything, we don’t know how to just listen and do nothing!
    A man is not good at guessing what you mean or want and we don't get hints... we can take it... JUST SAY IT!

    This guy you were with that broke your heart obviously see's these qualities in this other woman and he will never tell you that because he does not want to hurt your feelings and would lie before telling you the truth, this is way men are.
    I am sure most women will think my comments here are chauvinistic and old fashion but the truth is the truth. Deal with it or live your life without a man in it. There is nothing wrong with that lifestyle either.
    Sweetheart.. You will heal, time does that, And someone else will come along again, but the next time think about what I have said here, Open slowly, softly, quietly as a flower opens slowly to reveal its full beauty, that will make all the difference to a man, Hold back the sex if you want a long term relationship, he will respect you more for that... God made us the way we are and it will never change, in time you will see that this is the truth

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  16. Stay Strong Trish <3 He obviously can't handle your amazingness! Im sure you'll find someone like him but better and he will treat you right <3 <3

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  17. Relationships give you the ultimate highs and the ultimate lows. I feel for ya Trish. Broken hearts are the worst feeling in the world. I think they say it takes half the time you were with the person to truly get over him...So hang in there sister! love ya

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  18. What do I know? I'm a young girl that doesn't know a thing about relationships because I've never really been in a relationship, but I've always worn my heart on my sleeves, jumped to conclusion when one guy would speak to me, and always get my heart broken over things that are really worth it.
    I'm sorry that you had to go through this, I think that the worse thing is that you have gone through this so many times. This is my view on it.

    It's his loss.

    You are a strong, kind, caring and giving woman, Trisha, and any man would be lucky even be your friend. If this guy has the audasity to mistreat you, you need to stand your ground and show him that you are not gonna take no BS from anyone, especially him. But that may not work, because youve gone through this several time. If I was in yur shoes, I would want to talk a step back and just start fresh. Move away or find a new environment, have some 'me' time, and re-evaluate yourself to see why exactly youre going through the sam bloody thing each time.
    I would say move country and start again, but you really seem to love LA, so yh.
    I hope that was kinda comforting...
    Lots of love and stay strong x

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  20. I'm so sorry Trish. It must suck like crap to be in your position. Try to get to know someone as a friend first. Find out what type of person they are and then go into the relationship. It's true when people say love is friendship set on fire. Be with someone you are 100% comfortable with. You deserve someone who is your best friend, your lover, your companion, someone to say good morning to and goodnight. Someone who loves you for who you are and loves you with all their heart and every fibre of their being. Someone who makes you grow, makes you feel confident, tells you that you are beautiful, motivates and encourages you. I believe that there is a soulmate for everyone and you will find yours. Just have faith and smile because you are beautiful and special. Don't ever let anyone take you for granted.

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  21. He doesn't deserve you then, Trisha. You are SUCH a beautiful person inside and out from what big can see in your videos. You seem like the kind of person that just brings joy to everyone around them. You're so sweet and bubby and carefree. You're the kind of person I wish big could be. You don't deserve to be someone's side chick. You deserve somebody who will give you love. I know you're full of love and some man out there would be SO lucky to receive that from you. Keep your head up and be patient! You are so wonderful and some day soon Mr right will find you! I wish you the best of luck and I hope you find true love and happiness soon! Anybody would be lucky to have you in their life, even as a friend. I totally wish I could meet you haha! Xoxo <3

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  22. Aww trish I know exactly how you feel, I am heartbroken at the moment and I am so sad because I love him and he doesn't love me. But seriously, I just keep telling myself I will eventually meet someone I will love just as much, and he will love me the same x

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  23. Hi, I have just started paying attention to you. I would like you to read all of this (if you do read this) and not take it as a judgemental post. I am very confused by you, but perhaps you have gone through a lot of changes in the past couple of years and I haven't seen all of your changes in order. I am thinking that you are perhaps joking around with the whole Christian thing. If that is the case, I will suggest that you stop that because you are not doing yourself nor anyone else any favors. You are actually hurting yourself. Think about it, if God is real, playing around the way that you do, will not make Him happy and you are bringing bad things into your life unnecessarily. Please understand, I am not saying you deserve bad things, just stating that playing around with something holy, will bring things into your life you don't want, so I suggest to leave it alone if you are not serious. At least just try to live your life plainly without inviting things into your life that is making your life harder than it should be.

    However, if you truly are a believer, but you are having issues with keeping it real, then I will suggest to try being celibate again (if you ever were) and this time truly not share yourself with anyone unless there is a marriage or at the very least an engagement and EVERYONE in your private life (family and friends) knows who this person is and this person's intentions. Obviously you also know his family and friends and have a true relationship. Sleeping with someone on the down low and you don't know squat about him and viceversa will ALWAYS lead to a disaster. God's ways are always the best way for those that understand what He is trying to do. He is trying to protect us and to make us be truly happy, not to destroy our fun when He makes standards of behaviors in Christians' lives. I am talking about Christians/Believers here not everyone. Like I said if you are not a real Christian you can totally ignore this. I am just stating this because I am confused by you so don't know how to best advise or comment on this issue.

    If you are not a Christian and you want to continue living your secular and promiscuous lifestyle, I am sure by now you know the consequences of that, so you may try to change some things about your life, like for example, not date men that in any way remind you of the men you have dated in the past, not date men that require you to sleep with them in less than six months of knowing one another and wait for a sexual relationship to start until AFTER everyone in your and his life know about it. If he hides his friends/family from you and he doesn't want to take you out and so on and so forth these are all red flags.

    If you are a Christian again I suggest to go back to God's standards they will safeguard you from these types of things.

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  24. Trish girl good for you stand up for your heart it may hurt now but it will heal and the Lord has plans for each of us as ling as we are patient and let his will be done! You will meet someone the Lord has for you and it may take time (belive me i am right there with you) but it is worth the wait :) love ya !

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  25. I know how that feels. I hate when a guy will make you feel so special and like you're the only girl in the world, only for him to just leave and not even blink an eye.
    It sucks when you invest so much time and effort into something you think has potential. When it really turns out that he doesn't feel the same, or never did but he just thought he'd string you along anyway.
    I'm the type of girl that asks for one thing and one thing only:honesty.
    So I can relate to how frustrating things can get when you've been nothing but honest with the guy but he wasn't being honest with you.
    I've been there before, so what you need is a movie marathon with a lot of junk food. Make sure you feel all of the pain that you can to get it out of the way.
    The last thing that you need is for the heartbreak to randomly surprise you later on. Pain demands to be felt! Then, moving on becomes easier.
    I usually start a new book series or a new project.
    You should too, you'd be surprised with what you can come up with when going through a heartbreak.
    I hope you find a good guy that will treat you like a queen.

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  26. Hi Hon

    Im so sorry to read this, what can I say, Ive been there done that - for 6 yrs I have hatet christmas because I figured out I was cheated on at christmas time. But girl you will come back as strong as you ever have been belive me, I done it and so you can

    Hugs and Love

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  27. men r just men and unless you dont go for one that is an actual sweetheart with respect for the female race you will NEVER EVER find the right guy and he will always end up hurting you that is a given!!!! take my word for it... but i guess your not the type of guirl that would go for any ordinary guy ..i guess you got standards.

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  28. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Your lifestyle (showing your body etc..) is inconsistent with what you "say" you want from a man, which is one to truly love you in a committed relationship. Trisha you can't have your cake and eat it too!! Any man with respect for women and himself will stay away from women who flaunt their bodies and are willing to have casual sex. I understand you want to be loved...but it's YOUR JOB to guard your heart. No one else will do it for you. You say you want God but than your words/actions contradict what you say.. I AM NOT A HATER. I think you are cute and funny. But it hurts me to see you cry in videos and type blogs like this. If you want to be a wife (or in a monogamous relationship) you need to act like one so the RIGHT MEN will be attracted to you. You may need to make money differently...go a year without shopping lol... but you need to BELIEVE you are worthy of this kind of love, because you are! You are worthy because you are created in the image of God. Each time you have sex with a man that is not your husband, it bruises and damages your heart. Do something crazy...get out of LA. It all comes down to priorities...if materialism, partying, sex and pervs are your priorities than keep doing what your doing...insanity. love you, really.

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  29. PS...My whole life used to be wrapped up in believing my worth came from my looks, or my sexuality. I understand where your coming from. What changed me was Jesus. I cried out to him a lot at night when the parties were alone and my heart was so damaged from men using me. Jesus told me what I was looking for was him! He changed me! The process took several years but he transformed me into wife material and brought me a Godly man. Jesus says you are worthy of his love first....and you are worthy of a man to be faithful to you, but you must trust him and turn from your sin.

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  30. hey... just wanted to say I was in the same boat too..... keep your head up no matter what I think your the next Marilyn every time I see you... I just see beautiful you seem to be a very nice person I live on the other side of the US so its not like the Florida Fishy can give you a hug but hugggzzz anyways... your life will be amazing I'm sure your the prettiest of them all... XOXO- Christopher.. your FL Fishy.... <3

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  31. You know what Trish, i've seen your videos since a few months ago, i find you a very attractive woman with a lot of good qualities, and sometimes i just dont get you.
    Im a 27 years old women, a little bit fat just as you, and i have to say that i learn from a very young age (maybe im overreacting on this, because i was like 21 or 22, 23 something like that), how men can be with a woman that is fat, and maybe a little less confident than others, easy to just have a good time,have sex and then leave...darling you're so amazing, and beautiful, you have to learn how to just have fun with guys, (just like they have fun with no strings attached) and just wait for that amazing guy that is willing to give up everything for you. Dont wait for signs, and dont wait and tolerate less than what you actually deserve, because darling youre gonna keep on that track if you just dont realize how jerks can act and dont show you any type of demonstrations... luv ya girl!

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  32. Het Trish !
    this story broke my heart especially cause i was in a similar situation not long ago! I think your idea of being celibate until you find someone worth it or a year from now is a great idea! you can focus on meeting the right person! i'm trying to live as an independent woman too right now and I've realized I'm happy being single right now! I love going out and partying and meeting all kinds of cute guys without worrying what my boyfriend would think! just put yourself out there and you will find someone amazing...thats what I'm counting on anyways but for now I'm just enjoying the single life as a young woman and you should too <3 love you lots and i want to start reading your blog now!!

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  33. im so sorry trish, i know how you feel check out my blog and you will see

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